


sunrise and petals

by southjune



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Suicide, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-09 09:38:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12885129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/southjune/pseuds/southjune
Summary: when daehwi plans to end his life, he doesn't exactly expect someone to come and save it, just that he doesn't know it.





	sunrise and petals

**Author's Note:**

> this is prompt #183 of the produce 101 love songs fest, which is:
> 
> something like beauty and the best, where one person is cursed to die at a certain age (when the last petal of the rose falls) unless he finds his soulmate
> 
> enjoy!

daehwi woke up feeling a pain near his heart.

not again.

daehwi cringed and looked down at his chest. another petal was starting to wither, losing its original pink colour. he unbuttoned his shirt, even tearing out the last few, and with tears already filling his eyes, he lifted his trembling hands up to the wilted petal and ripped it out. he bit his lips as the throbbing pain turned into a piercing one, as if someone had stabbed him in the heart. he squeezed his eyes shut, letting the tears escape and slide down his cheeks.

daehwi swept his hands across his table, reaching desperately for his painkillers, which he poured into his mouth. his knees gave way, and he fell to the floor, resting his head against the side of his bed.

and then the same thought came to him once again, just like it had every time.

_if i hadn’t made that choice back then, would my life be different?_

daehwi didn’t know much about love. after all, he was only 10, and the only love he knew  
about was the love from his family and friends.

_“please, i’ll do anything. just get me out of this hell. anything is better than this.”_

_“i’ll save you, on one condition.”_

at that time, daehwi was desperate. and people tried to comfort him with that fact, he himself included. but emotions weren’t easy to control, and daehwi lived in trauma and depression for 10 years, from then until now.

_“the moment this contract is made, you will be cursed for life. there will be 3 flowers growing from your heart, and the petals will start dropping slowly. of course, when the last petal drops, your life ends. there is a way to ‘replenish’ these petals, which is by finding your soulmate. other forms of romantic love will sustain your life temporarily, but the only way to keep living like a normal person is by requiting your love with your soulmate.”_

that was the devil’s temptation, and daehwi realised that too late.

daehwi made a decision when he was 15. that he would leave this place when there were 5 petals left. not leave as in move away, but to leave this world completely. in other words, he wanted to kill himself, instead of simply disappearing like the flowers stemming from his chest.

his friends would be sad, they would mourn his death, but well, sooner or later he was going to die anyways. as for his parents… he had none. not that he was an orphan, but he just refused to admit that his parents were such horrible people.

it was easy for him, for someone who has come close to death so many times. he just had one last wish, which was to see the sunrise before he died. it was something daehwi deemed the most beautiful sight in the world, and if he was to die, he wanted to do it with style.

and the time had come. with the 6th petal gone, daehwi’s end was nearing.

the time was 4 in the morning. in just a few hours time, daehwi would be standing on the  
edge of a bridge, ending his life with the majestic sunrise as the stage. at 6, he would head out to the river.

daehwi spent the last 2 hours of his life deep in thought. he even considered not jumping.  
but whatever, at least they’ll find a corpse instead of just powder. mostly, he thought about his memories, his past. although he didn’t actually have memories before he was 10. he went back to the dark days.

daehwi wasn’t daehwi when he was 10. he was subject 0129. his body was nothing like it was now. definitely smaller, and thinner, and with countless marks and scars everywhere on his body. but he wasn’t the only one. looking like that was considered normal around that place, and some even got worse.

he had seen people die, and he had almost died many times himself. and now two things remained to remind him about this nightmare. aside from the scars, he had his number tattooed to his back, and of course, he had the flowers.

and as daehwi got drowned in his thoughts, the clock struck 6, and it was time for daehwi to head out.

-

daehwi stood on the ledge just wide enough to fit one person, and felt the cold morning breeze run through his hair. the water that once reflected the dark sky of the night was now shining with hues of yellow, orange and red as the sun came out to mark the beginning of a new day. this put his mind and heart at peace, nothing like the traumas that went through his head just 2 hours ago.

daehwi took one feet off the ledge, waving it back and forth in the air. once he took the last foot off, the person called lee daehwi would no longer exist.

“did you come for the sunrise too? that’s pretty unusual, i don’t really see anyone around here.” a voice much deeper than daehwi’s made him turn around.

“yeah. it’s beautiful isn’t it? it makes you calm.” daehwi replied, turning to face the man that had now joined him to watch the sun make its appearance.

“you have a point. but to me, it’s more of excitement. excitement for the day, and hope for whatever i’m about to face. at the same time, i keep hoping that someone would be the sun to my life. it would always be great to have someone like that, you know?” the stranger ended with a smile, and daehwi smiled back, his first genuine smile in ages.

daehwi found it fascinating how different the two of them were. and also amusing, about how he was already bothering to keep up a conversation with this man when he would be gone within the hour. he let out a laugh, keeping his eyes on the man.

“what’re you laughing at?”

daehwi passed that question off with a wave of his hand, and the man didn’t ask any further.

“so, what do you think about breakfast? i know a good cafe around the corner, and i need to go for work soon.” after a few minutes more of sitting in silence and in admiration of the sunrise, the man suggested.

and daehwi had no idea why he said yes. it was weird to agree to eating breakfast with a  
stranger, but somehow daehwi thought it would be even weirder to say no.

daehwi came to know the man as jinyoung, who was one year older than he was. they  
shared a talk about the sunrise over muffins and cups of coffee, and daehwi couldn’t help  
but be entranced by the way jinyoung beamed whenever he talked about the sun. and his mind drifted back to earlier in the morning.

_if i had jumped a second earlier, i wouldn’t have been able to see that beautiful face._

“you seem like a really bright person, jinyoung.” daehwi couldn’t help but comment, after seeing him smile so many times.

this made him laugh. “thanks. actually, if i think about it, i don’t even know when i became like this. i used to be really down, you know. my friends even gave me the nickname ‘deep dark’ just because of my personality.”

“then what made you like this?” the more daehwi talked to jinyoung, the more he wanted to know about him.

“finding a passion, probably. i’m a dancer, although i don’t look like one.” at this, daehwi  
nodded in agreement. jinyoung certainly didn’t look like a dancer, he looked more like an athlete. i mean, one of the first things daehwi noticed about jinyoung was his thighs, that literally looked like they were about to burst through his jeans.

“oh my god, it’s already 7.30, daniel is going to murder me. sorry, daehwi, i gotta go. see you around!” jinyoung hurriedly picked up his bag and left the cafe, leaving daehwi staring at an empty seat.

the original plan was to go back to the bridge and do what he had been wanting to do all  
along. but just before daehwi stepped off the bridge, the image of jinyoung’s smile came to  
his mind. and very thought of being the cause of that smile turning into a frown made daehwi stay.

he was willing to give life another go. sure, he only had 5 more petals left, but if he could get jinyoung to fall in love, he still had hope.

-

daehwi returned to the same cafe the next day, in hopes of meeting jinyoung again.

“hey daehwi! good to see you here again. the food here’s great right? it’s near my training  
center as well, so i come by this place a lot.” as expected, jinyoung took the seat opposite  
daehwi the moment he saw the familiar figure.

 _well, clearly i don’t come here for the food, i come here for you._ but of course, daehwi  
couldn’t say that, so he just agreed and took another sip of his coffee. the subject of their  
conversation today was centered on jinyoung, and his dancing career. and when daehwi told him that he composed songs, jinyoung was beyond excited.

“really? what do you think about writing a song for us? you know, all this while, we’ve only been doing covers, none of us can really compose and produce songs.” jinyoung grabbed daehwi’s shoulders, his eyes twinkling with anticipation. obviously, daehwi couldn’t say no.

_the only catch is, my life is going to end really soon unless you fall in love with me._

“great! i’ll be waiting.” jinyoung left daehwi with that statement, and once again, daehwi lost the chance to ask jinyoung for his number.

that night, daehwi found himself a quiet spot in a cafe, silently sitting near the window and  
drinking his coffee. he needed to think, but his emotions refused to give him the peace he needed. he thought about jinyoung, and then looked down under his shirt at the flower, and then back to jinyoung again.

and suddenly, daehwi was scared. fear was an emotion he never really felt since he was 8, not even when he was 10 as he begged for help, it wasn’t exactly out of fear. but daehwi  
was scared, and he had no idea what to do with it. he was scared that jinyoung wouldn’t love him back, that he only thought of this as a platonic friendship. but also, the thought of dying made him scared.

he wasn’t exactly sure why, maybe it’s because of jinyoung. maybe he wasn’t scared back then because he didn’t really have anyone, but now he had jinyoung, he kept getting in the way. every time he thought of ending it, he could visualise it. jinyoung looking at the news in between his breaks, him breaking down as he pieced everything together and figured out that the person in the news was daehwi, that person called daniel probably comforting him.

and that made daehwi extremely uncomfortable, distraught, and afraid. daehwi thinks too much and it’s a problem, because when he gets too preoccupied with  
whatever goes on in his head, he doesn’t really know what goes on in reality. of course, he barely notices when there’s tears dropping onto his jeans, and there’s also someone sitting next to him, asking him if he’s okay and calling his name.

which means it must be jinyoung, and daehwi’s brain snaps back so abruptly that he almost falls off the swing. oh god, i’m such a mess. daehwi quickly wipes his tears away, telling jinyoung it’s alright, but obviously, jinyoung wouldn’t fall for it.

“come on daehwi. you can tell me what’s wrong, you know.”

even at jinyoung’s persistent nudges, daehwi keeps his mouth shut, and only kicks the floor in frustration, which just makes more tears fall from his eyes. how could he tell jinyoung about his problems when jinyoung _was_ his problem? daehwi was about to stand up and leave, but as if fate was playing a joke on him, his heart started hurting again.

how screwed up could this ever get? daehwi thought it was stupid, how this was so random, but still seemed so planned. it was literally as if fate was telling him to get with jinyoung, telling him that he was the one.

_well, if fate is going to give me the chance, i might as well take it._

“sorry, i need the bathroom.” daehwi said, half choking on his tears. somehow, he managed  
to reach the cubicles without passing out, but he could barely stand without collapsing. he slid down the walls, and forcefully ripped his shirt open to pluck out the falling petal, groaning at the sharp pain that followed.

he reached into the pocket of his jacket to take out his painkillers, but was dismayed to find that he had finished them the last time.

 _seriously, this was such a fated thing._ daehwi couldn’t do anything else, so he leaned his head back onto the walls and closed his eyes, waiting for the pain to go away.

“daehwi?”

he was losing track of how long he has stayed in the bathroom, and it must have been at least half an hour, because jinyoung is knocking on the doors, with even a hint of worry in his voice.

“yeah?”

“do you need help with anything?” his trembling voice must have given him away, because obviously jinyoung knew he had trouble. in reply to that, daehwi could only respond by unlocking the doors.

when jinyoung saw daehwi suffering in a corner, he only had questions, but daehwi was in no state to answer them. so instead, jinyoung could only freak out internally and offer emotional support.

“oh my god, daehwi, why are you in this state? is there anything i can do to help? should i call an ambulance?”

daehwi opened his eyes, to be faced with a worried and panicky jinyoung.

“firstly, do not call the ambulance. it would be great if you could get painkillers, but since you can’t, i guess there’s only one thing you could do….”

“i’ll do anything you ask.”

“no taking your words back.” daehwi didn’t even know what he was thinking when he did  
that. it was a moment of desperation. with only 4 more left, he had to do what he could.  
daehwi put his arm around jinyoung, pulled him towards him, and - rather violently - crashed his lips against jinyoung’s for a kiss. his actions looked like a simple confession, but his brain wasn’t into the romantic mood at all, just thinking about how jinyoung needed to accept this, or else it would actually be the end for daehwi.

_please don’t pull away, please stay with me._

and sure enough, jinyoung stayed, until they had to pull away to catch their breath.

“love you, jinyoung.”

“love you too, but may i ask how that helped you overcome your pain?”

the two of them were lucky that the cafe was open 24 hours, because daehwi spent more than an hour literally telling his life story to jinyoung, including how he was about to jump off a few days ago. which ended up in another crying mess.

it was 2 a.m, and the two of them walked each other home, hands held tight.

and when daehwi looked down at his chest, the physical flowers were gone, instead  
replaced by a tattoo-like drawing of a flower.

_thanks, jinyoung, you saved me._

**Author's Note:**

> idk if this turned out the way i wanted to;; but hope the prompter enjoyed this!!
> 
> also i rly think i should have switched the roles for the characters.


End file.
